Your whole life changes once you no longer have your Father. No matter how long it’s been since he went to his heavenly home, there are days when it is almost unbearable and oh what you would give just to see him or talk to him, one more time.

Many times my father had to be both mother and father. That’s just the way it was and I’m not resentful about that fact. My mother is still living and I love her very much as I do my stepmother.

The days when melancholia sets in do seem to get a little less as time goes on but that whole in your heart never leaves. There are days for me when it is so prevalent, I cannot even talk about it because all I want to do is cry. But then there are those days when the memories and things that daddy taught me give me so much joy, I just want to jump up and down and spread that joy around.

We are the compilation of our parents; in my case, I seem to have taken more from daddy. We both hated injustice and always had compassion for those in need. We had disagreements, especially about politics, but it became a fun thing for us. It stretched me as a person because it made me at least consider other points of view.

There are so many wonderful memories; certainly way too many to embellish here in this space.

Daddy loved the land, fishing, boxers and bird-dogs. I love the land — gardening, the smell of grass after a rain and after it’s been mowed. I love to fish, not as much as daddy did and I love boxers; have one right now. Never had bird-dogs as I don’t hunt.

He was a mediator, arbitrator, not only in his career but in life with people. I don’t have the knack that he did, but I do try and I want everyone to see both sides and get along.

Instead of spanking, Daddy would lecture us for hours on ends. Giving us all the high and low points of whatever we had done, the consequences and that life was about the choices we made. He didn’t want me, his only daughter, having to depend on a man and helped me with my education after high school to ensure I could support myself. He taught me a lot of things many girls probably didn’t know. He explained car and plane engines and how to properly use hammers and other tools. He was always doodling songs and he loved music. That’s something I definitely inherited and since I was always doodling, he gave me the nickname “Doodles”. I don’t doodle so much anymore but I still love to write.

Daddy was a workaholic, which is something many these days know nothing about. I took that trait after him as well, but over the years have realized, there is a reason you need to take a vacation and just rest. Took me over 30 years to truly understand that though. Daddy never did, I don’t think. We should work as if the work we are doing is for the Lord, because in reality, it is.

As you celebrate Father’s Day Sunday, whether your dad is living or not, remember those special times, the wonderful things about your Father. If yours is living, call, go see them and make another memory. Life is way too short and people are taken from us much sooner than we realize. We should celebrate, fathers, mothers and everyone else every day, not just on a special day set aside for them. If you know someone who recently lost their Father, be sure and give them extra encouragement. That first year without your Dad, is especially hard.

May your Father’s Day be blessed. ©2018

Victoria Simmons, author, publisher, minister, public speaker. Email her at vsimmons54@gmail.com