Blessed beyond measure is how I feel every Mother’s Day because I not only have my birth mother, but also my step-mother who has been in my life for about a quarter of a century. My heart goes out to those whose Moms have gone to their eternal home. Of course, celebrating with Jesus has to be the best thing ever! That fact doesn’t keep our hearts from being sad though.
Motherhood is one of the greatest blessings. I actually cried out to God because I wanted a child. I did not know on that day He was already answering my prayers and I was pregnant. There is nothing like it in the world until you hold your grandchild for the first time.
Until I had my first child, I always thought I wanted about a dozen. That changed after the first one though but I did still wanted a fairly large family. Growing up, I only had the one brother and I wished for others, especially a sister. In the neighborhood, I was the one everyone asked to babysit and I started at the age of 11 as I was mature for my age. I just loved children, especially babies. I still love babies; bratty children, not so much!
Children in those days respected grownups and when taken out into the public, they weren’t acting out and running around a restaurant or a store willy nilly as the case is today. We rarely got to go out to eat or to a store and if we had misbehaved, it probably would have been the last time ever. Children were, well children and had to act accordingly including not being in on adult conversations. Adults made the decisions for them until they were actually old enough to make a real decision for themselves — usually around the age of 11 or 12.
I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup until I was 15 and then only sparingly. I could not date until I was 16 and had to take my little brother on most of them. I really didn’t mind that much except on those times he decided to be a pain.
Once you have a child of your own you discover motherhood is not what you imagined. Certainly not the same as babysitting a child. Fortunately, my first child was the dream child, no problems and easy to get through the various stages. The second one made up for that and for a while I thought that would be last one for me but once the rough spots were over, I was up for it again.
Fortunately, I never really had any problems other than being uncomfortable and morning sickness. I was able to keep playing sports and do everything I was already doing and the time passed quickly.
Talk about quickly, the time from the day they are born until they are grown, flies by and they are getting married and having kids of their own before you can turn your head.
I always worked a full time job but being in newspaper was able to attend events and even take them on assignments at times.
I did the best I could and balancing everything was not the easiest of tasks. My own childhood was not that great and I really had no role model as my Mom just did the best she could as well. I realize it could have been worse. I made many, many mistakes along the way and you learn with each child. With the first one you are overprotective and worried about every little thing. After the third one, you know they are not going to break and that they have to experience things for themselves.
I hope that my children forgive me for those mistakes and regardless, that they know I love them unconditionally. Each child is different and brings a different set of opinions and ideas to the table. You can’t parent each of them the same way either and figuring out what you need to do can be overwhelming with a difficult child. You just have to give them to God and ask Him to guide you.
I wasn’t as strong in my faith when my children were growing up as I am now and I wish I had been but no use having regrets. Our children don’t always turn out like we hoped, but they have their own lives to live. We are who we are today because of everything we have encountered and I know God has been with me all the way and He has protected my children.
Boys and girls have very different personalities. My son, the third child, was all boy and a climber. It was never a surprise to find him on top of something. He also liked to take things apart. When they are teenagers you tend to worry more about your daughters as well.
After the third was about three, I found I was pregnant with twins and I knew that would be all the children I would ever want. God had different plans and I not only lost them but another as well. Don’t know about other mothers, but I know I have wondered about them from time to time had they lived. God did bless me with one more daughter after several years though and she was a dream baby as well.
After her birth, the world started to change and not necessarily for the better. It’s gone downhill every since. I see how things have changed in my grandchildren. David and I have 14 across the United States so we don’t get to see them all very often. In fact, don’t think we’ve ever been able to get everyone together at the same time. We love them all very much though and we do have two whom we see regularly.
Today, May 9th, would have been my Bigmama’s birthday. She has been gone about 37 years but I still miss her. She died way too soon at age 69. She taught me how to make homemade biscuits, potato salad and cole slaw. How I miss her chocolate pie; it was the best thing ever and I can’t recreate it even though I have her recipe. It’s just not the same. But one day, I will see her again and get one of her hugs.
Wishing all mothers a very Happy Mother’s Day and hugs and prayers to those whose mothers are in heaven and to mothers who have lost children. ©2019
VICTORIA SIMMONS Is a columnist, author, motivational speaker, minister and publisher of The Georgia Post/Byron Buzz. Contact her at: firstname.lastname@example.org